Tuesday, May 8, 2007

What Have You Seen?

As life does not discriminate and the planet turns on with or without us, somewhere in between, for those of us who are fortunate enough to have made it this far, I am certain that each of you, like myself...have had some incredible things happen to you, be it good, bad or funny by now. Whether you believe in God or not, life can throw us for loops that defy words or explanation. It is the stories we carry in our hearts, the things we have seen that stop us in our tracks but are seldomly told by us to others because we think most people won't care, and maybe they don't, so we don't share them. I have come to find that when I dig down a little deeper with each person I come to know beyond the surface, there are usually jaw dropping experiences they carry with them that profoundly blew me away when they told me and gave me pause to hear them. I now understand, we all have our own cross to bare regardless of your divine belief.
As a child growing up, My Mom and Dad were two of the best people a child could have as parents. The sad truth was, my Mom was an alcoholic, but a great woman, with as much love for my brothers and I as a mother could have. My parents split up when I was in kindergarten when her disease finally came to a head in a drunk driving accident that nearly killed my brothers and I. My dad felt he had no choice but to protect us by breaking up the marriage. This led to a lifetime of parental separation, a long and difficult road growing up watching my Mom suffer through years of addiction, never quite able to put her life together for more than short periods of time but she never stopped trying. My Dad never gave up on her. He was always trying to do everything he could to help her. She was always doing her best to beat her addiction, cause she always wanted so badly to be together with us again. For 28 years since they split up, I had always suffered silently the pain of their separation, always wanting to see them together to no avail.
Six years ago, after a good fight and a final three straight years of sobriety, my Mom died of lung cancer. In the final year of her life while she was battling it, my Dad would drive up from Olympia 3 days a week to take her to her appointments. As things were seemingly getting better health-wise for her, their true love for eachother had finally found it's way back to them. To make a long story short, her remission was short lived. I was summoned to the hospital where she lay in her final hours of life. I walked in the room to see my Dad, brothers and their extended family in a semi circle around her bed holding hands together. I joined in the circle with them. As it became quiet in the room, my Dad spoke softly, and in a broken voice, told me that... the night before, as my Mom was still conscious, they called in a priest, who renewed their marriage vows in a simple ceremony. In the end, My Mom died, married to my father, It was all I ever wanted. In twenty eight years of being apart, my Dad never dated another women even once, she was always his love. UNREAL! But life is what happens when you are making other plans.
This is why I would love to hear your amazing story, funny, inspiring or rediculous, does not matter. That's what life is all about.... I hope mine brought you something too.

17 comments:

Unknown said...

I was just thinking about how great it was to be there when Seahawks won the NFC Championship.

Can't compete with yours..... :)

Stephanie said...

I have a friendship story for you.
When my first baby was only 5 months old I got deathly ill and ended up in the hospital. I had to have two surgeries, one to remove gall stones and one to remove my gall bladder altogether. After the first surgery I felt great and just wanted to go home, but unfortunately I had to stay in the hospital for another day and then have the second surgery. The TV in my room was broken and there were no magazines or books around. I called my husband just to chat and pass the time. We talked for about 5 minutes and then he said “Well, I have to go. I need to feed Rachael.” It was his first time changing diapers and taking care of the baby by himself and he was a little overwhelmed.
I hung up the phone and looked at the clock. Five minutes used up, now what. I called Doug Lemmon, “Hi, the first surgery went great, I feel fine, I want to go home, I’m so bored.” I had just talked to Doug two days earlier, so he already knew that I was in the hospital. We had nothing new to talk about. He said, “I’m really sorry, I won’t be able to talk for very long. My friend is coming to pick me up. But my roommate left this book on the table that I think you’d really like.” He picked up the book and started reading it. He read to me for half an hour before his friend came and they had to leave.
Doug is still the first person that I call with good news, bad news or just to say “Holy Cow! Check out this Tacoma News Tribune article with Tyler Rickdal in it.!”
I’m lucky that I have a husband who understands. He’s still friends with his high school girlfriend.

Scott said...

A few years after H.S. I met a girl that I married. I thought that everything was on track and life was going just as it was supposed to. Then there was the divorce and the great life I had came crashing down around me. I was a fortunate person to have people around that helped me through those hard times.

It seems that no matter what happens there is always a reason. I have been amazed and amused at the directions that I have gone in the last 10 years. I have had the chance to meet people who have altered the course of my life. I have had the opportunity to change others lives in positive ways. I have failed and succeeded. I still cant spell very well but I keep typing. I had to search the nation to find a place that I found peace in. I take the good with the bad. I think one of the most incredible moments for me in the last year was when I was hunting ( yes I hunt deer and elk) I tried to call out to an elk with a bugle and it answered me back. I was communcating with a wild animal. I did not hurt the elk but instead was enthralled by the conversation that we were having for about an hour. I think he got bored and wandered off but still, I had the chance to talk to an animal. I remember sitting on the hill side at about 4000 feet and looking down into a forested valley down onto a lake with the clouds passing overhead and the sun shining through. I remember a light breeze blowing though the trees and the intense silence of the forest. Watching a buck sharpening his antlers against a tree as he gets ready to entice a doe. (Of course there was that incident where I was chasing a bear INTO the woods...I questioned my sanity on that one.) Not disturbing the peace but truely absorbing it into my being. I am fortunate that I have been given the privledge to be part of these things. I really have traveled all over this nation and have seen things like the smokey mountains outside of Tennesee as a lighting storm passes through and lights up the nighttime skies. Driving through Vermont in the fall and driving into a valley where all of the trees are ablaze in too many colors to discribe.(the only way to describe it is that it was God's version of a fireworks show) . Driving through Ohio and Pensilvania and having to watch out for amish wagons. Taking relief supplies to New Orleans after Katrina. Watching tonadoes form on the pan handle of Texas. The Northern lights accross Wyoming. Driving in front of Hurricane Ivan and watching it progress accross the gulf of mexico and into the states. I often think of these things as I go about my life and toil to make a living. I am glad to have seen these things and even more happy to be home among friends. Over the years I have often wondered what has become of the friends that I had in H.S. and regret the fact that I have probably forgotten more names than I can remember.

Of all things I am thankfull for the chance to have been part of it all. I dont keep in touch with many people from H.S.(until recently that is) and that is mostly my fault. In the true form of Brian Fischer, I hope that I do not waste this opportunity to get to know many of you again and for a much longer time.

Jay Tando said...

I met Brian Fischer's mother on several occasions- she was a charming woman.

Man how 20 years has flown. Lots of craziness- especially since I moved to L.A. in '93!

I too have lost a few loved ones the past few years- one of them, Heidi, was the woman I wantd to marry. She's in heaven now and I was devestated when she left but like with Chito Duran, Gina Aquila, and Greg Vinson: I am so sad they are gone- but I am so glad they were in my life!

She will always be with me

http://i68.photobucket.com/albums/i2/jaytando/Jay_Heidi_PlanetEarth.jpg

Jay Tando

Louie Parent said...

Brian, that's an amazing story. And so great that you got your dream. I've thought a lot about your story since I read it a few days ago. I'm sorry for your loss but it ended amazingly. Your parents found solace.

I've nothing to add.

Brian fischer said...

Thanks Louie,
In much the same way, I too have had the stories everyone has shared in return on my mind as well, AFC championship game to boot. ; )
Ya know in retrospect, I never want to come off as being TMI but I just know that there has to be a massive amount of value and depth to those on this site, even the ones not saying a word, Just trying to uncover the reality between us that's all. It'd be nice to go the reunion and be able to cut through all the usual formalities before we get there so our time together is not spent in vein trying to remember who we really are to eachother.

Jay Tando said...

AMEN to that my friend

Anonymous said...

I wish I could say my life has been welled planned out....thoughtfully charted.... executed with great precision. It hasn't. Sometimes, I'm as brilliant as Stephen Hawkings....but more often than not, I'm a fumbling ,bumbling Barney Fife. The kicker is I look back, and there arn't alot of things I would change. Life is a series of events and choices. I like where I've been...I hope I've matured and gained enough knowledge that will make it a little less easier to make mistakes.It seems most of us in our journey have pretty much came to the same place. (house, jobs friends family happiness..) What really seperates us is our personal paths, roads and superhighways that got us here today. Each of us have personal history... a 20 year novel with triumphs, tradgedies, amusing anecdotes, and maybe, some sad stories. " I'm just looking for clues at the scene of the crime.....Life's been good to me so far............ ( Joe Walsh.)

Brian fischer said...

Kerry,
Very well said. Definitely sounding more Norman Maclean than Stphen Hawking at the moment. Highly admirable post.

koreygarvey said...

Brian,
Such a touching story and I applaud you for sharing such an intimate part of who you are. These are the experiences that we can learn from, and that help shape us. What amazing dedication and love your father had for your mother, truly admirable. I remember hearing from some where-"Why do people have to die?" The answer was "To make life more important". That really made an impact on me.
To end on a lighter note...I like your posting on the classmates section of the JFK reunion headquarters-classic movie. I would go on but I don't really want to talk about my flair!

Brian fischer said...

: ) thanks Korey, glad you like my pics. They will change again for sure.

Anonymous said...

I wish I had a beautiful story to share. I have had pain, heartbreak, and joy but nothing, besides my kids of course, that I would call beautiful. That must be on the way!

What I have learned/seen is that all by myself, I can travel to Disney World with my kids and have the best vacation ever. That I miss Seattle. That when I am really down and confused I can call Colorado or Eastern Washington and get the best advice from people who will be honest and there for me. That Black Cherry martini's are the best, and that kindergarteners will tell you every secret their family has ever had, and it will take all the acting ability you have to keep a straight face the next time you see their parents. :)

Louie Parent said...

Korey, I was racking my brain to figure out where that quote was from. It was on Six Feet Under. Great show and a great quote. -Louie

koreygarvey said...

Louie-
You're right, now I remember where I heard that quote-Six Feet Under. Love that show! Thanks:)

Wendy (Wozniak) Richards said...

Oh Brian, my dear friend, you're still the deep thinker I knew and loved in high school.

What have I experienced, you ask? Well, I've seen pure evil in a person's eyes, I've had trusted friends betray me when I needed them most, I've watched in my rear view mirror as a car speed up behind my stopped vehicle... and then I was knocked unconscious, and I've seen the inside of an operating room six times for various reasons (three prior to the car accident and three as a result of it).

I've also seen the most incredible blessings come into my life. I married my true soul mate and we have been blessed with a son and a daughter. I have very dear friends both near and far who have proven the depth of their friendship time and time again. I've also found that I can have an incredible impact on my communities development, from participating in the process of building a town (like SimCity, but much slower and I can really shop, eat, and do business at the places when they build and open), and in fighting to establish a charter school so the children in my community can have an educational option that isn't over-crowded and scholastically lacking. I've seen my relationship with my parents growing stronger and deeper with each passing year and my willingness to help them turn into a career that allows me to have a positive impact on rural communities nationwide.

What I've learned is that every negative experience can yield many positive experiences if you open yourself up to that possibility and have the patience to wait for them to be revealed to you, that true faith and a good sense of humor are incredibly powerful, that true love really does endure all, and that being content is the dream come true.

Remember, you asked!

lena said...

Brian
Thank you Brian for sharing your story. I wish we all could be that brave. You have obviously gained inner strength from your childhood experiences.

Connie H said...

Oh Brian, that is so great. Thank you for sharing. What a way to put things in perspective.